'YIKES, IT'S BACK' REMARKS MAN AFTER NEW SIGHTING OF SALMON SPRINGS BIPEDAL BLACK BEAR
'YIKES, IT'S BACK' REMARKS MAN AFTER NEW SIGHTING OF SALMON SPRINGS BIPEDAL BLACK BEAR
This week, Salmon Springs infamous bipedal bear was spotted for the first time in months by farmer James Hubert. The creature was seen moving swiftly across his newly planted cornfield at an unsettling pace. Much like everyone else in Salmon Springs, Hubert is not excited about his sighting.
"That damn bear!" He told reporters, telling of the sighting, "Ain't natural for a bear to walk like that. For all we know, that's a half dozen gophers in a costume." Hubert took pictures of the animal, submitting them to Salmon Springs hunting and fishing guild, hoping it will help them put an end to the bear once and for all. Many residents remember the last time the bear was spotted. Crime rates rose, farms were harassed, and the general store was robbed of all beef jerky, milk jugs, and wet wipes.
"I'm telling you, that bear means bad news. I ain't paranoid, but something about this bear don't sit right." Hubert ended the interview here, and our reporter described his demeanor as noticeably distressed.